How To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
It was another hot summer's day here in Australia. My son could not wait to get into the swimming pool at the end of his school day. I watched as he enjoyed his cooling swim. After a little while he decided to do somersault jumps into the pool.
Jump … spin … splash!
Again and again.
At one point he turned to me and said, "It still feels a little eee-awww-lubble-lubble…" As he spoke this unintelligible sound, he did a little shudder, although his smile was wide.
I thought I knew what he meant but I was intrigued to learn more of what this indescribable feeling really was. Seizing on what was no doubt a small window of question-asking opportunity, I asked "what do you mean by eee-awww-lubble-lubble?" to which I got:
My stomach feels all funny as I'm about to jump
I'm scared about messing up the landing
I wonder if I'm going to hit the steps
I remember the times I've already done it
I tell myself to just jump
I feel like I stop breathing when I'm in the air
Then I spin and splash and I feel all tingly on my skin
I can feel myself smiling and I want to shout out loud, like woo, or something
I want to do it again
I wonder if I can do a backwards one
This is a 12-year-old's description of stepping outside of your comfort zone. It's a pretty cool description, if you ask me.
THE ADULT COMFORT ZONE
As I reflect on this conversation (and wish that I'd recorded that "out of your comfort zone" sound), I can't help but think it's quite similar in how I feel when I step outside of my comfort zone.
This week I have been working on a new program for a client. It's something new, it's something important and in the words of Seth Godin, "it might not work". It's fair to say that I'm feeling a little out of my comfort zone as I move beyond the edge of things I know do work to experiment and play with ideas that may not work.
As I prepared to jump and do a check-in with my client, I've got that funny feeling in my stomach. I'm wondering if it will land badly until I remind myself that I've done the work, that this next step isn't make or break, and I tell myself to jump. I might hold my breath while I observe how it has landed with my client. And then, spin, splash and it feels great. I get that tingly feeling all over, new ideas spring to mind and I want to do more.
LEARNING TO JUMP - EMBRACING LIFE OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE
We don't often realise we're sitting inside the comfort zone. After all, it's comfortable and familiar. Our brain and body does a good job of ignoring the familiar and remaining on alert for the new. When we sense the new and unfamiliar, like those times when doing something outside of the ordinary, we make an instantaneous, subconscious risk assessment. We may not experience a recognisable change in our mind or body if we don't perceive it to be risky. That is, when we're staying inside the comfort zone.
When we move to the edges of our comfort zone, however, something different happens in our mind and body.
There was probably a time when my son's eee-awww-lubble-lubble feeling did stop him from jumping. I know there were definitely times when the feeling has kept me in the safe zone.
So, how do we learn to jump? To practice taking that first leap, despite the shuddery excited-fearful tension going on within our body. How do we tune into which jumps are necessary for our growth and development, and which are too risky?
I wonder if it starts when our brain does that lightning fast, subconscious risk assessment?
I wonder if this manifests in a range of warning signs for our body (from the no warning, comfortable feeling; through eee-awww-lubble-lubble; on to the screaming 'don't do it' end of the spectrum)?
I wonder then, as we leap, if it is our intuition telling us it will be okay, reassuring us that the risk is small compared to the possible reward?
I wonder, too, if it is the comfort we take when we see others taking similar leaps and the positive outcomes they receive?
I wonder if it is by practicing and taking baby steps (like mastering jumping and diving into the swimming pool before somersaulting)?
I wonder how much it helps that we are encouraged to make the jump by those we trust?
Or, I wonder if it is when the excited feeling simply outweighs the fearful feeling?
Whatever it is, once done, it becomes easier to embrace the feeling and to jump the second time ... and the third time … and every other time since.
THE POWER OF PRACTICE
Exploring this with my son has made me realise that I've encountered this shuddery, eee-awww-lubble-lubble feeling many times in my life. It made me realise that I quite enjoy this feeling and I see it as a sign that I'm on to something that is going to feel great (eventually, if not right away).
Most of all, it has made me realise that there's something empowering about giving this feeling a definition. It helps me to move into the growth zone by lowering the fear factor and amplifying the excitement factor.
Embracing life outside the comfort zone is a practice that gets easier the more you do it. The unique 'out of your comfort zone' feeling may never go away. And that is a good thing.
As the saying goes, life really does start outside your comfort zone. What are you waiting for?
Jump … spin … splash!