Adapt and Thrive
With less than 10 days to go until an exam, my older son found out that one of the texts he has been studying all year could not be used as a reference. It was, as Murphy’s Law would have it, his favourite text. Unsurprisingly, he was sent into a bit of a spin by this news. I listened intently as he vented his frustration and stress. He felt like this one piece of news was going to have a huge impact on his likelihood of success in the exam. It would have been easy to take on his frustration and stress. Of course, my mind went straight to the question “how does this happen?”. I could have quizzed him on who was to blame and how we might seek vengeance for this. Instead I chose to listen and empathise. Listening — I mean, really listening — requires me to stop talking and to stop the voice in my head from talking. This presence allows me to understand the situation and assess if my role is purely as a supportive shoulder to cry upon, or if there is action for me to take. I nodded and made the right sounds (the ones you learn over time, as a parent, will signal that you care and you are there).
The following day we had another conversation about the exam. By then, he had discussed the situation with a number of his classmates. He had talked about his Plan B for the exam. He had realised that focusing on the bad news was not in his best interest. He chose to put his energy into what actions he could take to give himself the best opportunity for success in his exam, despite the unfortunate news he had received. I was proud to see his maturity, resilience and adaptability on display in this way.
Upon hearing him speak and realising that he had moved forward from the stress of the previous day, I offered up my one piece of ‘mum wisdom’ for this situation. This is a great life lesson. [Thankfully, as his mum’s son, he nodded knowingly as he, too, sees the lessons in everyday things.] But, it really is a great life lesson. Shit happens every day and it’s how we deal with it that sets us apart.
I recently wrote about the Adaptability Quotient (AQ) which describes a person’s ability to adapt and thrive in a fast-changing environment. It’s so true. Evolution has taught us that it is only the most adaptable of any species that will survive.
In our ever-changing workplaces, our ability to adapt to these changes is critical.
Companies are now actively identifying adaptability as a key competence with a recent UK study showing 91% of HR decision-makers say that the ability to cope with change and uncertainty is a key capability that they hire for.
The need to be a life-long learner is more important than ever before. A World Economic Forum paper showed that 25% of employees described a skills mismatch between the demands of their current role and their own skill set.
It is no longer an option to study something once and then do a job, we have to be continually up-skilling and learning new skills and capabilities.
We build our longer term adaptability by being adaptable day in and day out.
Who hasn’t walked into work with the plan to start working on a particular task only to have the day turned upside down by something urgent that has arisen?
Who hasn’t been late for an appointment because of a traffic jam or a public transport issue?
Who hasn’t set themselves a goal for the week only to fall short due to something unexpected, like getting sick?
It happens. When we are adaptable, not only do we find a way of dealing with the set backs or changes that occur but we also live a healthier life. Less stress, less negativity, less looking backwards, less helplessness. More optimism, greater wellbeing, more gratitude and more forward motion.
“Adaptability itself is a form of intelligence, and each of us has the capacity to become more adaptable,” Natalie Fratto points out in her TED talk “Think of it like a muscle… It’s got to be exercised.”
Are you exercising your adaptability muscle?
Try to stay calm in the face of a set back or change: Staying calm allows you to access rational thinking and not being clouded by emotion. You are able to keep things in perspective and assess the situation clearly. Use your EQ to maximise your AQ.
Maintain an optimistic outlook: Staying positive, at all times but particularly when things change or you encounter a set back, helps to combat stress and anxiety. It reinforces your ability to identify alternative options.
Keep your eyes open: Being an observant explorer in your work and life helps you to proactively identify where change may arise. Be curious about what is happening, why it happens, how it happens. Ask lots of questions to deepen your understanding (see below).
Ask “what if” or “what about” questions: What if you accept that things don’t always work out as planned. What if you feel content (even excited) that change is part of being in a dynamic workplace, or experiencing an interesting life. What if you can see past the set back to what’s possible? What about trying out Plan B (or Plan C-Z, if need be)? What about all the times things change but they still work out in the end, sometimes better than you imagined?
Keep your focus facing forwards: Our brains latch on to whatever we focus on. If we keep thinking about the problem, it will be harder to see a solution. If we keep speaking (to ourself or others) in negative terms, it will be difficult to focus on the positive. If we keep thinking it is going to be a disaster, it most likely will be. As the quote from Buddha attests: what we think we become.
Like any exercise, the more effort we put in, the more we will get out. The good news is that opportunities to practice being adaptable abound in our work and lives. Which leads me to wonder:
How will you adapt and improve your AQ?
Post script: since starting this article, my son sat his exam. He came out of it feeling like it didn’t go too well. He believes if he’d been able to use the original text as a reference, he may have more readily answered some questions. Of course, he was disappointed in the turn of events. Yet he took a deep breath, realised that focusing on the negatives was wasted energy and shifted his focus to what he could do about his remaining exams. I’m proud to see him demonstrating adaptability. Whatever the result, I know that he will be resilient, adapt and thrive.