How many false starts are we allowed before we are out of the race?

Good news. It’s not a race.

Yet we often treat work, and life, like a race. Worse still, we then disqualify ourselves when we have a false start.

Take writing this blog post as an example.

Some weeks I can sit down and punch out 1000 words without looking up. The ideas are flowing and I know exactly what I want to say. Within an hour, I can write a draft, give it a first round edit and send it off to my blogger’s group for some feedback.

Then there are times, like this week, when I am not sure what I want to write. I sit down to write and there’s nothing. Having been there before, staring at the blank screen, I turn to my sources of inspiration. I keep a log of idea starters — stories, quotes, research findings and topics that I can use to spark a post. I pick one, open up my new draft and start typing. About 3 sentences in, I stop. Look up at the screen. Read, and re-read, the 3 sentences. The ideas aren’t flowing. I ask myself some questions: where could I go with this idea? who is this post for? what is this post for? how can I reframe the title/idea/opening sentences to spark a different angle on the same topic? I delete or change the opening. I start typing but, again, I stop a few sentences in.

Decision time.

Do I think I can complete this post today?

No!

I save my false start to drafts and another blank screen is opened.

I start again.

I dive into the Drafts folder and review previous false starts. Posts with a title, sometimes a picture, and if I’m lucky, the opening paragraph complete. I choose the one that sparks an idea or two and start typing. I might play around with the sentences already written, or sometimes, I just pick up from where I left off. I add a few sentences but then, aaagh, frustration. I stop typing and look up at the screen. The ideas aren’t flowing and I don’t know where I want to take this post. I repeat the process of asking myself some questions and trying to spark some inspiration. But there’s nothing.

Some weeks I can repeat this process 4 or 5 times. Multiple false starts. Should I disqualify myself at this point? Should I give up? Do I tell myself that I’ve failed this week and not write my weekly blog post?

NO WAY!

I have to write this post no matter how many false starts I have.

After 9 months of writing my blog, I have learned that there are always going to be weeks where the writing flows and weeks where there are false starts galore. I have also learned that the answer is not to disqualify myself but to keep re-starting. It’s not a race. I don’t have to finish it first time to be successful. I only need to finish.

What contributes to our desire to quit after a false start, or three? And how might we build the muscle of re-starting?

Moving Forward Without Clarity

A lack of clarity can contribute to the initial false starts. I know that it is harder to write a blog post when I’m not clear what I want to write about or when my brain is swirling with too much information or ideas. A lack of clarity can also cause us to want to quit when we have a false start. If we’re not clear about what we are trying to achieve, what our ultimate goal is, then it is easier to convince yourself that it is better to quit.

Returning to clarity when you have a false start is a great way to motivate you to re-start and finish. When I am struggling to write more than 3 sentences on my blog post, and I’ve tried to spark some inspiration to no avail, I return to the purpose of my writing. I remind myself that sharing ideas, inspiration, tips and techniques with my readers is an important part of the work I do. I remind myself of the core principles of helping people and teams make change happen — in their own habits and practices, communication and culture — and this ultimately helps me find a topic to write about. Finally, when needed, I will meditate for 5 minutes prior to writing to allow my brain to relax and focus on the task at hand. Clearing my mind of the concern of the previous false starts and the busyness of my thoughts can get me over the hurdle of a slow moving writing day and get that post finished.

Being Paralysed With Fear

When we humans are struggling with something, there’s usually fear lurking somewhere. Fear can be at the root of why you’re experiencing false starts when trying to complete something. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of putting yourself out there, fear about being judged, perfectionism and fear of not being good enough. Fear can also be at the root of why we quit. When we hit those false starts it can reinforce the fear to the point that we are paralysed from making forward progress. It would be easy when I stare at the 3 sentences on a screen and can’t think of what else to write to tell myself that I should stop. Maybe this blog post won’t be good enough, maybe I will fail at getting my ideas across, or if I don’t like what I’m writing then nobody else will.

Instead, I like to make fear work for me. Fear of not showing up for my fellow blogging group members, fear of not showing up for my readers, fear of not showing up for myself. These fears drive me to keep going. To push through the false starts (no matter how many there are) and find something to write about. In learning to dance with the fear, I have built a habit, a practice and a commitment to writing my weekly blog post.

Bringing the Wrong Mindset

An either/or mindset often contributes to our false starts. It’s either working well, or not working at all. It’s either good or it’s bad. Thinking in either/or also contributes to our decision to give up. It’s either worth persevering or it’s not worth it. It’s either happening or it’s not happening.

Flipping your mindset to an and mindset helps to reframe the challenges of a false start. I can’t think of anything to write on this topic and I’m going to try another topic. I can’t finish this post and I’m going to save it for another day. I feel like I’m never going to have a post this week and I’m going to keep my commitment somehow. I’ve had 5 false starts with this blog post and I’ve finished one on the 6th attempt.

Yes, this week has been a week of false starts for me. I sat down to write this post and my mind was both busy and blank. I couldn’t find inspiration from any of my previous drafts or my log of blog ideas. I couldn’t get much further than a few lines or the first paragraph.

As I stepped through my internal thinking process that gets me over the line when I’m struggling with false starts, I realised I’m not alone in this. When we are doing important work there are always going to be false starts. There are always going to be days where we struggle to get into the flow. In realising that there is value for others from this introspective exercise, I had the inspiration I needed to re-start and get to done.

There’s no one pathway to getting something done.

Change #dripbydrip by Leanne Gordon

Done for me is that this week I’ve written a blog post about not being able to write a blog post.

Where are your false starts? What are you struggling to get from start to finish? Can you use clarity, fear and mindset to help you start, and re-start, your way to the finish line?

Go.