An antidote for our busy lives
Are we obsessed with doing?
Are we obsessed with becoming?
Can we be content with, simply, being?
These are questions I find myself asking more often. Especially those times where I’m falling into the productivity trap.
“The Productivity Trap” by Leanne Gordon
We all have those times when there is just too much to do with too little time. It is at these times that I find I become obsessed with doing. My conversations are focused on getting stuff done. My language is infiltrated by productivity speak — all about priority setting, time-blocking, pomodoro-ing, bullet journalling, batching tasks, focussing … I get trapped by the lure of a magic bullet to allow me to do it all, hence have it all.
At these times my longer term goals weigh heavily on me. Those things I’m striving to do or aiming to become feel unattainable unless I’m doing more and more today. I feel the future I’m dreaming of, and the opportunity to move that bit closer to it, slipping away by not doing enough today to make that vision for tomorrow a reality.
When life hits this frenetic pace the irony is that I become less productive and I have less capacity for the clarity and depth of thinking required to meet today’s, or tomorrow’s, goals. I find myself in a cyclone of life, stationary while it rages and swirls around me and when the wind dies down, I look back and realise I’ve “lost a couple of days this week”.
In these times, what I have lost is the present. I’ve lost the simplicity of being present today, in a particular moment, of being aware of now, of being grateful for life now. Too focused on what I have to do, where I’m going, or what I’m becoming, I forget to, simply, be.
Out of curiosity, I typed being into Google and interestingly, the dictionary definition at the top of the search results stated “Things that exist are in a state of being: this meaning of being is a little vague, but it has to do with the way things are alive and real.” Perhaps that is why we struggle with simply being. Being is vague. Being is just existing. Does being, maybe, feel a bit like not doing and not becoming? Perhaps, it doesn’t feel aligned with our doing and becoming focused world.
What if we focused on another part of the above definition of being: alive and real? Alive and real feel like words that many of us aspire to. What if, simply being allowed us to be alive and real?
Amidst this philosophical meander, I can’t help but wonder, how do we master the art of being? Is it possible to dial down our doing and becoming focus and spend time in the now, simply existing, alive and real?
I don’t have all the answers here. As a self-professed achievement addict, I know that I can be caught up with doing and becoming. I also know that I am not at my best when I focus too much on doing and becoming. It is at those times I stop seeing the forrest for the trees.
I have found that a combination of awareness (knowing when I’m falling into the productivity trap, stopping myself when I have “lost” days in a week); mindset (feeling comfortable with carrying my to-do list over to another day, being grateful for what is happening now) and language (taking care in the words that I use, focus on ‘now’ words) helps me be at my best.
In practice, this can show up for me in different ways. I’m currently writing a book and in the weeks where I have a lot of client meetings and work to complete, I can find it difficult to find the head space for clear thinking and writing. I find myself stressed that “I’ll never finish this book and become an author” ie. achieve my goal. If I reframe this to “I am simply writing” without expectation or pressure on myself to do a certain amount or rush the journey to becoming, then I write more freely and am more satisfied with what I’ve achieved. It ends up being positive that I wrote 400 words in a busy day as opposed to disappointed with myself for not writing 2000 words. Or, worse, heading down a productivity inspired rabbit hole looking for how to do more with less.
On the weekends, I often use some quiet time to catch up on reading or do some research for an upcoming workshop. Even when doing shopping or house things my mind is nearly always on what I have to do and what is coming up with work (the joys of running your own business). In the midst of this, my son will often want to play a game of some sort. At times like this, my priority list outranks my to-do list, and I can deliberately put the to-do’s to the back of my mind so I can spend time with him — present in that moment, grateful for the opportunity to just be with him.
They are relatively small things however I truly believe that is the key. It is in the small actions, day by day, that we live life. Living consciously in these everyday moments allows us to modify our behaviours as we go through life until that is simply how we are. Alive and real.
“Doing, BEING, Becoming See-Saw” by Leanne Gordon
It seems we really are obsessed with doing and becoming. What about you? Where do you sit on the Doing, Being, Becoming see-saw? Can you dial down the doing and becoming in your own life? Can you recall those times you have experienced the feeling of, simply, being?
What small actions can you take today to experience the joy of being?