It’s a question I ask often. To myself and others. What if … we did this? What if … you tried that? What if … I looked at it another way? What if … you worked together on this? What if … what if … what if?
Being curious is a way of being for me. I’d never really thought about it too much. I ask a lot of questions and what if is one of them. When I ask what if it is always asked with a positive intent. I’m seeking discovery, to consider opportunities and to explore what is possible.
I was in a meeting recently with a group of people who used what if questions in a completely different way to me and I stopped and thought a bit more about this simple question. In this meeting, I was taken aback by the barrage of a different sort of what if question. What if it doesn’t work? What if they don’t like what we say? What if you fail? What if it makes things worse for us? What if they tell us to change? What if they make us do this? What if this uncontrollable thing was to happen? What if this unlikely outcome was to eventuate?
It reminded me of the poem, What If I Fall? by Erin Hanson
There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask, “What if I fall?”
Oh, but my darling,
What if you fly?
It’s a mindset thing.
It’s not always easy. Our mindset is influenced by our environment, our upbringing, education, the people we spend time with, and even epigenetics. Mindset and questions are a bit like the chicken and the egg: either could come first! What if you are able to use questions to cultivate a more positive mindset and kickstart a virtuous circle of positivity and curiosity? What if you learn to fly?
When I ask questions from a mindset of positive intent these questions are underpinned by:
Gratitude — When I ask what if I recognise, and am grateful for, good people and good things. What if they want us to succeed? What if we are all working together for our common goal? What if we give people the benefit of the doubt? What if we all want to win?
Optimism — When I ask what if I am hopeful and optimistic about what is possible. What if we discovered a new way forward? What if it makes things better for all of us? What if we can do this? What if it works?
Acceptance — When I ask what if I am content with, and accept that, not everything is within my control. What if we fail and learn a valuable lesson? What if we use the influence we do have to put the best possible proposal to them? What if we remain confident in our adaptability to any potential outcome?
Resilience—When I ask what if I’m remaining realistic that not everything works, or works first time. What if it doesn’t go as per plan A, and we need to follow up with plan B? What if we keep persevering? What if we are the last ones standing?
I’ve always seen questions as a super power. Add the benefits of a positive mindset and anything is possible.
What is your mindset when it comes to questions? It’s possible, and necessary, to cultivate a positive mindset so that you bring optimism, gratitude, acceptance and resilience to your questions. Such a mindset protects you from focussing on what might go wrong, what you cannot control or the less likely scenarios.
Perhaps it is fitting to finish with a final what if question. If you find yourself being pulled into a downward negative spiral, stop and ask yourself:
What if you fly?