Photo courtesy of Flying Carpet on Unsplash
So goes the joke between my old University buddy and I.
Many a time, faced with an impossible to-do list, we contemplate buying that ticket to Denial. “It’s sunny there today” she will say. “And my phone won’t ring there”, I will add. At those times when work feels way … too … hard … , escaping seems like the perfect option.
This is a physiological response: our body’s fight or flight system in action. The “danger” being the bombardment of competing work (and life) priorities. The pressure builds up inside of us. The response being to either go and have that tough conversation with your colleague, or ….. run away and hide.
Some days, sunning yourself on the banks of Denial feels like the best place to be.
I am amazed at how often the act of having this conversation about heading off to Denial is the impetus for action. It may only be 5 minutes away from the problem at hand, yet this virtual chat where we share empathy and humour over a long-standing joke is like the release of a pressure valve. Once released, the stress and overwhelm disappear and the task no longer seems impossible.
The days on which I take a quick, imaginary trip to Denial often turn out to be the most productive of days. It helps me change the way I look at the to-do list. At these moments, I choose ‘fight’ not ‘flight’.
When I work with people, so often the discussion turns to how we do our work. We are all seeking greater productivity. An impossible to-do list and achieving the bigger goals often feels incompatible. Busy work, meetings, endless tasks fill most people’s days. No wonder our body tells us to flee.
I’ve been using my own lessons from Denial recently to quiz people about their pressure release valves. What things can help you change the way you work? What can you do in the moment to release the pressure of work? How can you create some impetus for action? How can you turn from flight into fight?
Here are a few of the answers I received:
Tony goes for a 5 minute walk and plays a game of “spot the stressed out office worker”. Not wanting to be like them, he checks himself in the bathroom mirror on the way back to work. This little break is enough to get him back on track.
Elisha takes the good fight to her desk. Having a love-hate relationship with paper, she times herself to do a 10 minute power clean up. Tearing and binning paper from her office gives her an energy surge. She feels ready to “fight” even the most undesirable thing on her to-do list after this.
Ben needed a colleague to tell him what his pressure release valve is. She had observed how when stressed, he changed to the same playlist every time. His stress reduced and productivity rose. Once conscious of this, he now uses it as a strategy when the going gets tough.
These are such simple examples of things that people do every day at work to get stuff done. They are so small and seemingly insignificant. Until I asked them the question, no-one had thought of these things as pressure release valves. Nor that these little rituals helped them survive the physiological effects of work.
What is your pressure release valve? In that fight or flight moment, what do you do? What change can you make to how you work, particularly when it’s busy and stressful?
We all know that stress and overwhelm are compounding factors in poor performance, poor health and poor relationships (in and out of work). I challenge you today to stop and think about what you do when the stress rises. Hiding away in Denial isn’t a long term solution for any of us. Instead, reach for your pressure release valve and use it to get back on track.